Setting: Mother-in-Law’s Living Room, Westhoughton UK
Time: 10:00am (BST)
Characters: Christine and Andy
Props: 1 Laptop, 2 Mobile Phones
Scene: Trying to get Oasis tickets
ACT ONE
We find Christine and Andy in the living room. Christine is sitting on the love seat with her laptop and Andy is on the couch with two mobile phones, one in each hand.
Christine has already brought up two websites, www.ticketmaster.co.uk and www.ticketline.co.uk and has begun to refresh the screen minutes before the tickets go on at 10:00am. And it happens... the screen changes from ‘Ticket Not Yet On Sale’ to ‘Find Available Tickets’.
The race is on.
While Christine is refreshing screens that are already timing out due to such high activity Andy is using each mobile phone to dial...get busy signal...dial...get busy signal...and repeat.
Success appears to be in Christine’s grasp as Ticketmaster has actually found 5 tickets available for the Saturday June 6th concert. She puts in her credit card details and hits submit... waiting... waiting... waiting... then a screen appears saying that tickets were only held for 3 minutes and the transaction was not completed in that time therefore the tickets have been released and to please try again. #&%#!!
Ticketmaster is now saying there are no available tickets for the Saturday performance.
In the meantime the other screen with Ticketline is still in the process of saying it is unable to connect and to please try again. When it finally becomes available it also says there are no tickets available for the Saturday show... a wave of defeat comes over our heroine.
Curtain down.
ACT TWO
This scene starts in the same setting as the first but we find our two actors moving in a much more frantic way. There also seems to be a slew of curse words coming from Christine’s mouth.
Ticketmaster is useless. Finally Christine gets somewhere with Ticketline, the 5 tickets found are not for the Saturday show but for the Sunday show... but still they are tickets. She puts in her credit card information and hits submit. Page Load Error! #&%#!! Instead of starting all over again she just hits refresh... and waits... and waits... and waits...
Success!
Thank you for your order, your payment has been successful.
Christine very happily tells Andy he can stop trying to get thru on the phone as tickets have been confirmed. They both sigh with relief as it is now over.
ANDY’S PREDICTION: SKIP AHEAD EIGHT MONTHS TO JUNE 7TH 2009
Setting: Heaton Park, Manchester UK
Time: 2:00pm (BST)
Characters: Christine, Andy, James, Tracey and Tracey’s Friend
Props: Five Useless Tickets
Scene: Local Pub
We find our characters in the local pub getting plastered because the gig is cancelled because Oasis usually end up cancelling ½ their concerts due to one issue or another. Andy is the only one saying “I told you so!"
4 comments:
LMFAO! I barely know the pair of you and you guys crack my shit up!! Your description made me feel like I was right there, hehehe.
Glad you got tickets! Hope Andy is wrong!! Oasis would be spectacular in concert, I bet! Jealous!
That is HYSTERICAL!! I can totally see all that going down and it reminded me of Bob and I in one house and my mom in another house trying to get tickets to see Barbara Streisand in Vegas a few years back!! I CANT STAND TICKETMASTER!! If the show is canceled call me and I will fly over the pond to join you at the pub getting plastered!! HA!
Piece of advice...take a hat with you to the gig. If you are like me and you enjoy getting in the mosh at the front..prepare to get covered in beer and water!! people throw their stuff everywhere at Oasis gigs. When i saw them at Wembley and at a festival..I was soaked to the bone!
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